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Lord Peter Wimsey:
May I come into your parlor?
Harriet Vane:
Peter! What on earth are you doing here?
Lord Peter Wimsey:
[holds up newspaper] "Famous Mystery Author Finds Body on Beach" So, here I am, like a bird that hears the call of its mate.
Harriet Vane:
I didn't call you -
Lord Peter Wimsey:
I meant the body. But talking of mates, will you marry me?
Harriet Vane:
Certainly not.
Lord Peter Wimsey:
[after realizing a new lead] Oh, frabjous day! Miss Vane, will you marry me? Or, failing that, will you accompany me to Darley's garage?
Harriet Vane:
I will.
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Let us be gone.
[they get up and start to head out, but Peter stops]
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Uh...
Harriet Vane:
The latter.
[Peter demonstrates a throat-cutting on Bunter, then sees Harriet's shock]
Lord Peter Wimsey:
I'm so sorry.
Harriet Vane:
No, no, it's all right.
Lord Peter Wimsey:
No, no, I'm an ass. And in a moment I shall get down on my knees and apologize, and probably propose to you as well.
Harriet Vane:
Oh, Peter! What an idiot you are!
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Aren't I, though?
Harriet Vane:
I'm sorry, I know I'm being horribly ungrateful-
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Oh, *hell*! Am I never to hear the end of that hateful adjective? I keep telling you, I don't want gratitude! I don't want kindness, I don't want sentimentality! I just want common honesty.
Harriet Vane:
But that's all I ever wanted! I don't think it's to be had.
[silence]
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Harriet, I do understand. I know you don't ever want to have to depend on another person for your happiness ever again.
Harriet Vane:
That's true. That's the truest thing you've ever said.
Salcombe Hardy:
You wouldn't be here for the suicide of a foreign gigolo. There's something more to it than that... unless it's just the girl? Oh, for God's sake, Wimsey, say it isn't the girl! You wouldn't play a joke like that on a hard-working journalist. Look, how about you give me a story about you and Harriet Vane? "Romantic Engagement of Peer's Son and Crime Novelist!"
Lord Peter Wimsey:
Pull yourself together, Sally, and keep your inky paws off my private affairs.
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