When Dr Frankenstein decides to retire from the monster-making business, he calls an international roster of monsters to a creepy convention...更多>
Dracula: What kind of a monster is he? A ghoul? A demon? A spook, or...? Francesca: A human. Dracula: They're the worst kind. Francesca: Felix, you saved my life. Felix: Don't thank me, thank my pills. [They kiss] Felix: Don't thank my pills, thank me. Yetch: It's me, your Don Juan. Francesca: I Don Juan to look at you. Felix: I'll kill myself. Baron von Frankenstein: No, Felix, don't kill yourself. Felix: Who's going to kill myself? I just said that because I didn't think anyone could hear me. Mr. Hyde: Hyde. Hyde. Felix Flanken: Hide? You want me to hide? Well if you want to play games, you must be feeling better. Certainly don't look it. Okay, I'll hide and you try and find me. Dracula: Um... Due to the dilapidated condition of my wallet... Er, your ship. I think I had better fly. Felix Flanken: Take it out of my pay, Mr. Kronkite. Mr. Kronkite: Pay? What pay? You still have two more months to work for me for nothing before you're even as it is. Now what are you doing in the pharmacy department in the first place? Need I remind you that this is a drug store? There are people waiting at the lunch counter, someone is browsing though the paperback books, we still have a rack of these Veeblefetzers to unload and you're wasting your time in the pharmacy department. What am I not paying you for, Felix? Felix Flanken: Sorry, I can't see a thing without my glasses. Invisible Man: I've heard that one before. Yetch: Into the air, zombie bird man. Yetch: [Invisible Man is hit with a pie, revealing his face] No wonder you're invisible. You're ugly and revolting and disgusting. Chef Mafia Machiavelli: For the main course: I make boar's head, roast vulture and mince hyena casserole. Here, try the hyena casserole. It's terrific, no? Yetch: No. There's something missing. Chef Mafia Machiavelli: WHAT? Something missing? The casserole of me, Mafia Machiavelli, the greatest chef ever? SOMETHING MISSING? Yetch: Chef, please, simmer down. Chef Mafia Machiavelli: I bust your head, I broke you nose, I squeeze out you eyes. GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN. Yetch: I think I better tell Dr. Frankenstein that dinner is ready. Baron von Frankenstein:
Ha ha ha. Quoth the raven, "Nevermore". I've done it. Created the means to destroy matter. They must all know. Know that I, Baron von Frankenstein, master of the secret of creation, have now mastered the secret of destruction. The invitations must be sent at once.
Felix Flanken: I'm invited to an island in the Caribbean to take part in a scientific first. A new discovery. Mr. Kronkite: You? A mental last to a scientific first? Chef Mafia Machiavelli: Here we have the antipasto - black widows pickled in their own poison, smoked lizards and snakes, and marinated mice. Yetch: It looks so good. Yum, yum. How do you do it? Chef Mafia Machiavelli: Oh, it's nothing. [singing] Chef Mafia Machiavelli: Just a pinch of this, a pinch of that. A pinch of this, a pinch of that. [pinches Yetch] Yetch: Ow! Stop already with the pinching. The Monster's Mate: Remember what happened the last time you had a roving eye? I kept it in a jar for a week. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yetch: Point of order. Point of information. Point of importance. Dracula: Speak up and stop pointing. Felix Flanken: [while watching The Isle of Evil being obliterated] I know it's wrong, but I have a tremendous urge to sing "Auld Lang Syne". First Mate: Did we pick up any passengers on this stop, Captain? Captain: Only that strange fellow from London, Dr. Jekyll. First Mate: Dr. Jekyll? That's odd. He told me his name was Mr. Hyde. Francesca: I'm just a machine with hundreds of parts that will eventually wear out. Felix Flanken: Well, Francesca, none of us are perfect. [Click] Felix Flanken: Are perfect- [Click] Felix Flanken: Are perfect- [Click] Felix Flanken: Are perfect- [Click] Felix Flanken: Are perfect- [Click] Felix Flanken: Are perfect... Felix Flanken: So, you recognize this vile, vile vial, eh? Felix Flanken: Now take me to Francesca. Move. [It, a 20-story-high ape appears behind him] Felix Flanken: Aha, frozen with fear, are you? You didn't realize the rapier-keen, silken-smooth Felix Flanken could be so rough and tough, and hard and strong, and manly and virile, and... [Sees It] Felix Flanken: Weak... Timid... And petrified. Heh he heh. Hi-ho there, can I get you a banana? Felix Flanken: I'll carry you. Boy, you're heavier than I thought. Francesca: I wanted you to know I'm no easy pick-up. Felix Flanken:
If I ever get out of this mess alive, I'll never hack and chop in a jungle again.