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"Gilligan's Island"
(1964)
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Ginger Grant:
Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Gilligan:
That's beautiful. What's it mean?
Ginger Grant:
It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
You don't know anything about space.
Gilligan:
I do know one thing. You take up more of it than I do.
Gilligan:
Hiya, Professor. What are you doing?
Professor Roy Hinkley:
I'm making notes for a book. It's to be a chronicle of our adventures on the island... I think it's a book people will want to buy, don't you?
Gilligan:
Sure, I'll buy one. I'm dying to find out what happens to us.
Eunice Wentworth "Lovey" Howell:
Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop.
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Well, that glue is permanent! There's nothing on the island to dissolve it. Why do you know what it would take? It would take a polyester derivative of an organic hydroxide molecule.
Thurston Howell III:
Watch your language! You're in the presence of a lady!
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Ginger, I've got a problem... I've got a real problem... now you're a girl, right?
Ginger Grant:
Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem!
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Gilligan little buddy come with me.
Gilligan:
I'm not finished yet.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Gilligan come with me!
Gilligan:
I'm finished.
Thurston Howell III:
The 'Wizard of Wall Street' strikes again!
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
I'm not gonna marry that native girl!
[the castaways have set up a courtroom and are conducting a trial]
Thurston Howell III:
Your Honor, will you get another gavel?
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Why?
Thurston Howell III:
That one's squirting milk all over me.
[Later in the same courtroom sequence]
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Ginger's very damaging to us.
Gilligan:
Yeah, her testimony.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
No, her legs.
[And finally... ]
Thurston Howell III:
I'd like to charge Mary Ann with murder.
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Murder?
Thurston Howell III:
Her testimony's killing me.
Gilligan:
You're a big man with a big head and - -...
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Gilligan!
Gilligan:
And a big heart.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Oh, thank you.
Thurston Howell III:
What is this slop?
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
It's Gilligan's own creation, Mr. Howell, It's coconut pot pie.
Gilligan:
What was that stuff you just gave me?
Eunice Wentworth "Lovey" Howell:
That will help you sleep, it's a sedative.
Gilligan:
Thanks, Mrs. Howell, but you're wasting your time. Those things don't work on me. I remember once...
[falls asleep]
Gilligan:
Skipper, should I pick the yellow bananas or the red bananas, because the yellow bananas are green.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Then pick the red ones.
Gilligan:
But the red ones are pink.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Gilligan, I don't care if you pick red white and blue bananas, just pick some bananas!
Gilligan:
Okay, Skipper... Blue bananas?
Professor Roy Hinkley:
I'll get Mr. Howell and we'll reconnoiter.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Alright, we'll get Mr. Howell and we'll reconnoiter. Come on.
Gilligan:
Okay, but I think we ought to scout around a bit first.
Gilligan:
Do those headhunters really collect heads, Professor?
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Yes, Gilligan. They boil them... they shrink them... and then they mount them on sticks.
Gilligan:
Eeeeeeew, what a crazy cane!
Gilligan:
Skipper, are you asleep?
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
[sarcastically] Yes.
Gilligan:
Oh, well when you wake up will you tell me if you've seen my rabbit's foot?
Thurston Howell III:
You goofed, didn't you?
Robot:
I am not programmed for that information.
Thurston Howell III:
I wonder what next year's models are gonna look like.
Robot:
I am not...
Thurston Howell III:
Oh shut up!
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom.
Mary Ann Summers:
You can say that again.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
I guess it will be a long time...
[laughs]
Gilligan:
Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
You do?
Gilligan:
Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone.
Skipper Jonas Grumby, Mary Ann Summers:
Late?
Gilligan:
Late?
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Listen, Gilligan, how far down was she? How many feet?
Gilligan:
Professor, in navy circles, we don't say "feet". We say "fathoms".
Professor Roy Hinkley:
Alright, how many fathoms?
Gilligan:
Oh I don't know, about 15 feet.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
[upon finding a robot] Oh for goodness sakes, that's just what we needed. The tin fugitive from the Wizard of Oz.
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
If I were ever seen talking to this refugee from a junk yard, they'd think the skipper lost all his marbles.
Robot:
The skipper lost his marbles.
Thurston Howell III:
[pretending he's a Chief Headhunter] Moolah, moolah, moolah.
[repeated line]
Gilligan:
Sorry, Skipper.
[repeated line]
Gilligan:
Gee whiz, Professor!
[repeated line]
Skipper Jonas Grumby:
Oh, Gilligan, not again!
Gilligan:
[Repeated line] Heh. Seeya later.
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