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"Moesha"

"Moesha" (1996) 5.1

1996-01-23(美国)| 喜剧 家庭| 美国
上映时间:1996-01-23(美国) 类型: 喜剧 家庭
国家/地区:美国 
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advertisement Myles: Dorian, you can keep begging until Lil' Kim comes out with a gospel album. It ain't gonna happen. Hakeem: Niecy, your village called, and they miss their idiot. Moesha: Aren't you having a good time? David: Yeah, but if we go to my house, we can have a GREAT time. Know what I'm sayin'? Moesha: [puzzled look] No. David: I'm talkin' about gratitude, girl! Shoot, I paid twenty dollars for those tickets! Moesha: [jaw drops] David: Hey, don't act like you never been on a date before! Moesha: David, what happened? I thought you were nice. David: Why have nice... when you can have NASTY? I'm good, baby. Check my references. Pick up the phone, dial randomly, and if a woman answers the phone, ask her about me. Moesha: David, you handled him really well! Have you ever thought about doing stand-up? David: I AM standing up. [about school newspaper] Kim: Well actually, I kinda like what Taylor did for the fashion section. She put my picture on the front page. Niecy: Yeah, as a "fashion don't". Kim: Girl, nobody ever *reads* the paper. [recurring line throughout the series, usually scaring everyone after being said] Hakeem: Boom! [Moesha has missed a surprise party for Andell at the Mitchell home] Kim: What happened, Mo, did you forget where you live? Kim: Y'all are dysfun... Y'all are dysfun... Y'all can't get along. [about Kim's weight] Kim: It's just baby fat. Taylor: No, it's just fat, baby. Aaron: Come on, Mo, I never said I was a virgin. Moesha: No, but I didn't know you were a ho! Moesha: My name is Moesha Mitchell. Morris Day: Oh, Lawd, another "Esha" baby. Sara: [gathering pennies] Andell, if we split a Cherry Soda, can we still get the free refills? Andell Wilkerson: No, Broke-ahontas. Kim: I wanna get my knowledge on, you know, like that commercial say, "A mind is a terrible thing." Niecy: Mo, we have looked everywhere: the arcade, the Magic Johnson theater, Mickey D's playland, the swap meet... Kim: Yeah, and I got 10 scrunchies for a dollar! Moesha: Kim, my brother is missing and you're shopping? Kim: Well, if we can't find him we can use them as armbands. Dee Mitchell: I'm not getting any younger, your father and I are very much in love and we want to have a baby. Moesha: But you already got us. Dee Mitchell: And you're such a joy we want one more. Moesha: I don't look like Brandy! I'm cuter than her. Cop: Calm down. Frank Mitchell: Don't you tell me to calm down, I pay your salary! Cop: Then I need a raise. Andell Wilkerson: Baby? After all the free advice I been slinging around here? Moesha: Not me, Andell, my parents. Andell Wilkerson: Whew, girl, I thought I was gonna have to regulate. Niecy: I'm watching my figure. Myles: Then maybe you can tell the rest of us where to look for it. Moesha: You know I can dance like Janet. Niecy: Yup - Reno. Quinton "Q" Brooks: [about Channing] That brotha's a teacher? Dang, who's head of the English department? Foxy Brown? Kim: [shouts] Hello, Myles. How are you doing? Niecy: Kim, you don't have to shout. He's not deaf. He's just a little touched. Hakeem: He's not touched! He just likes to get high. Hakeem: I'm going to ask Jennifer Lopez on a date. Moesha: Oh, so you just beggin' to get tackled by security, huh? Hakeem: When she sees me, she'll take care of security. Moesha: Yup, I can hear her now - "Get him!" Frank Mitchell: You see, we got into a bidding war for the dealership. Dee Mitchell: Are we talking desert storm or Star Wars? Myles: [Frank has spent $75,000 on the dealership] Looks like it's back to picking lemons. Moesha: Lemons? You better make that cotton. Niecy: Hola, chico. Antonio: Oh, and Happy Kwanzaa, my sista! Moesha: The Mitchells are your typical middle-class family. Lots of laughs, lots of hugs, lots of love. Dr. Woods: Lots of drama. Kim: [handing out free samples] Chicken, get yo' chicken here. Chicken. Free chicken. Half off the free chicken! Hakeem: You should've seen it - Ms. Parker set old Fullmore straight. Niecy: Ms. Parker, can you come to my trig class? Mr. Johnson is getting out of hand. Nikki Parker: I don't care if he runs amok - Nikki don't do trig. Moesha: Niecy, which Tae-Bo tape is this? Niecy: Oh, girl, those tapes are too expensive. This is Tae-Po. Dorian Long: All right, lil' man, Frisky is gonna need a walk before I get back. Myles: Where are you going? Dorian Long: To a Hallowe'en party. Myles: Well, you better go as a kangaroo and put that dog in your pouch, 'cuz I ain't the one. Myles: I want to get a job. Moesha: Now Myles, you know the circus is *not* in town. Kim: You know, why are you always playing so hard-to-get? Hakeem: I'm not playing! Moesha: He is too young. You can still smell the milk on his breath. Kim: I don't care if it's Similac, baby is fine. Hakeem: What's up, Jetsons! Frank Mitchell: Jetsons? Hakeem: Yeah, you and George got the same haircut. Andell Wilkerson: I think you need to reconsider that decision. Moesha: Why? Me and The Den Think Tank have already discussed it. Kim: Yeah, we done already moved to the refreshment part of this agenda. Dee Mitchell: Myles, you better get a move on if you want a ride to school. Moesha: Oh, I'll walk him. Myles: "Walk me"? Do I look like a dog to you? Kim: Who is baby? Moesha: That's just Hakeem! Kim: Hakeem? Well, the brotha must've stepped into a phone booth or *somethin'*. Kim: So what does Ohagi mean? Young Black God? Ohagi: It means Conquering Warrior. Kim: Ooh, I surrender. Kim: [Moesha shows up at The Den after being grounded] What's up, Shawshank? I thought you were doing five to ten. Moesha: Listen to this resume I wrote for Hakeem. Kim: Okay. Moesha: Hakeem Campbell: Crenshaw High honor student. Kim: Honor student? Maybe honorary. Frank Mitchell: [after Dee begins complaining in a Jamaican accent] Now you got her island up. Kim: Excuse me, Madame Fifi! But you blocking my view of Chocolate Thunder! Taylor: It looks to me like you've had enough chocolate.

"Moesha"

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