Andy French: Drinking shows a real commitment to becoming a cooler person. Kevin French: Can you buy something here for me? I want to have something to drink at the party. Andy French: Sure. [Kevin grabs a bottle] Andy French: That's hair gel. [grabs another] Andy French: That's shampoo. [grabs another] Andy French: That's mouthwash. [Andy is eating cereal] Kevin French: How can I think with that awful racket blaring from your mouth? It sounds like a gorilla eating a log cabin! Kevin French: I hope you're not like this during the parent/teacher interviews. Andy French: Hello! Andy French. Couldn't care less about your future. Kevin French: Mom and Dad said you have to do everything that they do. Andy French: You don't live with Mom and Dad any more. I paid the electricity bill and I don't get a present. [lights begin to flicker on and off] Kevin French: Mom and Dad would like to talk to you. Andy French: Hi, Mom! Mrs. French: Andy. What's this I hear about you emotionally abusing Kevin? Andy French: Mom! I can't go changing my life just because Kevin is here. I have plans. Kevin French: Mom! Andy's sitting on the couch drinking with Jim. Jim Kuback: Hi, Mrs. F. Kevin French: [while drinking] History is full of great homos. Oscar Wilde was a homo. Alexander the Great was a homo. You know who else is a great homo? You are, you big homo! Gus: [Grabs Kevin's collar] That is a mean and hurtful term. Please stop using it, or I will be forced to clobber you. Andy French: And don't think we forgot about you, Stogie! [dumps contents of can with Cyrillic writing into food dish] Kevin French: Andy, are you sure this is dog food? Andy French: Well, it has a picture of a dog on it. [Stogie sniffs food and backs away, whimpering] Kevin French: Andy, you did it. You won back your self-respect. Andy French: Which will last until tomorrow morning when I'm begging Ron for my job back. [Andy and Kevin are having dinner with Kevin's "girlfriend," Eunice "Weirdie" Eulmeyer"] Andy French: Pass me the beans, Weirdie. Kevin French: What did you say?
: [stammering] Uh... I meant "Where de beans at, Weirdie? ...uh, beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie? ...beans at, Weirdie?" Help me...