Maxxx Orbison: Yeah, I just dig that Jesus guy! Joe Young: They want me to do a sequel. Lisa: A sequel, to "Death of a Salesman"? Doesn't he die at the end of the first? Joe Young: Yes, but he has a twin brother, and he wants revenge. Lisa: Revenge? But, doesn't he kill himself? Joe Young: No, no, that's what you were led to believe. He was killed by the C.I.A for selling smack... to Nazis... Lisa: Wow! [Dave recounts a painful memory of why he quit Hamster Style kung fu] Young Ben: Dad? Ben's Father: Hmm? Young Ben: I don't think I'm gonna do Hamster Style anymore. Ben's Father: That's nice. [Flashback pans back to the present] Ben Chapelski: [tearfully] And that's how it went down, man! Mariachi Band: Mi Verga es chiquita y muy fea... y todo el mundo lo sabe... Ben Chapelski: Let's see how you like my... COCK ROCKET! Ben Chapelski: Jesus! Joe Young: Where? Lisa: I hope you're happy in the life you've chosen. Joe Young: Don't quote Dickens in my apartment! Maxxx Orbison: Put your tongue in her mouth, for Christ's sake! Joe Young: How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth? Dave the Lighting Guy: Everybody say, "Geddy Lee!" Joe Young: Who's Geddy Lee? Dave the Lighting Guy: Geddy Lee, best bass player EVER, come on! Everybody: Geddy Lee! [Dave snaps photo] Dave the Lighting Guy: I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band! Dave the Lighting Guy: Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you got a hot ass! Joe Young: Thanks. Dave the Lighting Guy: Say, have you seen that movie Clash of the Titans? Joe Young:
Oh yeah, the greek mythology.
Dave the Lighting Guy: Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass! Joe Young: I'm not a superhero! I'm a Latter-Day Saint. Joe Young: I am a bad, bad Mormon! Ben Chapelski: To the Orgazmobile! Joe Young: What? Ben Chapelski: My Buick Century! Maxxx Orbison: Bring me my stunt cock. [Joe is introduced to the young actresses he'll be co-starring with] Joe Young: Oh... I, I can't say that. Maxxx Orbison: Say what? Joe Young: What are they called? Maxxx Orbison: The Assfuck Twins. Joe Young: I can't say that. Can we call them something else? Maxxx Orbison: But they're the Assfuck Twins. Joe Young: Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something? Maxxx Orbison: No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time? Joe Young: Well, that's pretty naughty. Maxxx Orbison: What's your name, again? Sancho: I am Sancho. Maxxx Orbison: Look, I get a lot of people auditioning all the time. What makes you think that you'd be good enough for porno? Sancho: I am Sancho. Maxxx Orbison: Great... but what do you do? Sancho: What do I do? I am Sancho. Maxxx Orbison: And...? Sancho: And there are many Jeffs in the world, and many Toms as well. But I... am Sancho. Maxxx Orbison: And...? Sancho: Are you Sancho? No you are not. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho. Frank Gifford is not Sancho. But I... Maxxx Orbison: You... are Sancho! Sancho: That's right. Maxxx Orbison: Okay, you're hired. Joe Young: Ben, use your hamster style! Lisa: [to Maxxx] You pig, you're responsible for degrading all of those women. Clark: Equally degradable in pornographic films. Lisa: Men are always in a position of power. Rodgers: They're the ones who want the product so bad, they're the victims. Lisa: Well, it exploits men by exploiting women. Clark: Hence, it exploits people. Maxxx Orbison: [pissed off] SHUT UP! Clark: Yeah.