娃娃谷 (1967) 5.9

Helen Lawson: The only hit that comes out of a Helen Lawson show is Helen Lawson, and that's ME, baby, remember? Neely O'Hara: I didn't have dough handed to me because of my good cheekbones, I had to earn it. Helen Lawson: They drummed you out of Hollywood, so you come crawling back to Broadway. But Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope. Now get out of my way, I've got a man waiting for me. Neely O'Hara: Who are ya hiding from, Helen? The notices couldn't have been that bad. Helen Lawson: The show just needs a little fine tuning. Neely O'Hara: Don't worry, sweetheart. If the show folds I can always get a part as understudy for my grandmother. Helen Lawson: Thanks. I already turned down the part you're playing. Neely O'Hara: Bull! Merrick isn't that crazy. Helen Lawson: You oughta know, honey, you just came out of the nuthouse. Neely O'Hara: It was not a nuthouse! Helen Lawson: Look. They drummed you right outta Hollywood! So ya come crawlin' back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope. Now you get outta my way, I got a guy waitin' for me. Neely O'Hara: That's a switch from the fags you're usually stuck with! Helen Lawson: At least I never had to MARRY one! Neely O'Hara: YOU TAKE THAT BACK... [pulls off Helen's wig while scuffling] Neely O'Hara: ... oh my God, it's a wig! HER HAIR'S AS PHONY AS SHE IS! Jennifer North: [She's wearing a very large headdress] I feel a little top heavy. Play director: [Not meaning the thing on her head] Oh, honey. You are a little top heavy. Jennifer North: I wouldn't pay any attention to that. You know how bitchy fags can be! Ted Casablanca: You've got your new deal, and I've got my sanity back. Neely O'Hara: With that little whore? Ted Casablanca: That little whore makes me feel nine feet tall! [after catching her bisexual husband with a girl]

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Neely O'Hara

fbd

: All right, faggot! Start explaining! Ted Casablanca: You need glasses, Neely. She's hardly built like a boy. Neely O'Hara: Boobies, boobies, boobies. Nothin' but boobies. Who needs em? Mel: You're spending a lot more time than necessary with that fag. Neely O'Hara: Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag... and I'm the dame who can prove it. Anne Welles: Neely, you know it's bad to take liquor with those pills. Neely O'Hara: They work faster. [On the phone with her mother] Jennifer North: You told me Gramp's been sick, Mother, and I know about the oil burner. Okay, I'll pawn the mink. He'll give me a couple hundred for it. Mother, I know I don't have any talent, and I know I all I have is a body, and I am doing my bust exercise. Goodbye, Mother. I'll wire you the money first thing in the morning. Goodbye. [Hangs up the phone and starts performing calisthenics] Jennifer North: Oh, to hell with them! Let 'em droop! Neely O'Hara: "I have to get up at five o'clock in the morning and SPARKLE, Neely, SPARKLE!" Anne Welles: You've got to climb Mount Everest to reach the Valley of the Dolls. Jennifer North: That old witch oughta to be boiled in oil. Neely O'Hara: I want a doll! I want a doll! Lyon Burke: Do you realize, Miss Wells, that you are the most beautiful girl that ever left lipstick in my office? Anne Welles: You like women, don't you? Lyon Burke: I like career girls. We're compatible. Anne Welles: There's a rumor they don't make very good wives. Lyon Burke: Well, I'm not looking for a wife. Anne Welles: You're fortunate you know yourself. I don't know who I am, or what I want. Henry Bellamy: Take these papers to Helen Lawson, and don't give her any of that "I loved you when I was a child" crap, or she'll stab you in the back. Tony Polar: Jen! I can't feel my legs! Neely O'Hara: [drunk in a bar] Who's stoned? I am merely traveling incognito. Neely O'Hara: Makes a change from the fags you usually hang around with. Helen Lawson: At least I didn't have to marry one! Neely O'Hara: [after pulling off Helen Lawson's wig] It's a wig! Her hair's as fake as she is! Neely O'Hara: Having FUN kiddies? Neely O'Hara:

43

[catching her husband in the pool with a girl]