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Putting It Together
(2000)
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Carol Burnett
演员
饰The Wife
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Bronson Pinchot
演员
饰The Narrator
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The Wife:
Why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?... Take back the cake, burn the shoes, and boil the rice!
The Wife:
Marriage, what's a marriage? It's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever which is maybe the most terrifying word I've ever heard.
The Narrator:
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76
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Please, don't cough. It tends to throw the actors off. All right, it isn't Aristophanes, But please don't cough.
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e15
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The Wife:
My husband, the pig. I worship the ground that he kicks me around on, the pig.
The Wife:
Here's to the girls who just watch, aren't they the best? When they get depressed, it's a bottle of Scotch, plus a little jest. Another chance to disapprove, Another brilliant zinger, Another reason not to move, Another vodka stinger! I'll drink to that.
The Wife:
A knife would be perfect,
The Young Woman:
A gun would be perfect,
The Wife:
It's quick and it's quiet,
The Young Woman:
At least I could try it,
The Wife:
I hear they do wonders
The Young Woman:
And you can do wonders
The Wife:
With poisonous gas.
The Young Woman:
With slivers of glass.
The Wife:
There's always the quarry,
The Young Woman:
There's always curare,
The Wife:
She'd never be found.
The Young Woman:
I have some around.
The Wife:
A noose is efficient,
The Young Woman:
Bamboo is efficient,
The Wife:
She won't make a sound.
The Young Woman:
As long as it's ground.
The Wife, The Young Woman:
[echoing] Whatever will do it, if anything will. There's nothing as low as a woman.
The Wife, The Young Woman:
[unison] SHOOT TO KILL!
The Husband:
Somebody, hold me too close. Somebody, hurt me too deep. Somebody, sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive, being alive.
The Narrator:
Somebody, need me too much.
The Wife:
[echoing] Somebody, need me too much.
The Narrator:
Somebody, know me too well.
The Young Woman:
[echoing] Somebody, know me too well.
The Husband, The Narrator, The Young Man:
Somebody, pull me up short, and put me through hell, and give me support for being alive.
The Narrator:
Make me alive!
The Husband:
[echoing] Make me alive!
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