A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't bee...更多>
[in Vic Flange's Pub, Sadie Tompkins orders a drink at the bar for herself] Sadie Tompkins: Have you got a large one? Vic Flange: I've had no complaints so far. Sadie Tompkins: Seeing's believing... Vic Flange: You won't need a magnifying glass! [Vic gives Sadie the drink] Vic Flange: There you are... no, no, have it on me - if you know what I mean! Sadie Tompkins: Oh, you don't have to draw me any diagrams! Vic Flange: Pity - I was just going to get my ballpoint out! Stuart Farquhar: My name is Stuart Farquhar, the representative of Wundatours. Pepe: Stupid what? Stuart Farquhar: STUART! STUART FARQUHAR! Pepe: Ahh, you Mr. Farqiarse. Cora Flange: You filthy rotten stinking beast. Vic Flange: What have I done now? Cora Flange: Don't you come the innocent with me. You and that Sadie Tomkins..."Are you going on the same trip too? Oh well fancy that, yes fancy that." Well, I don't fancy that AT ALL! Vic Flange: Oh, have a heart, darling, you know I need this holiday. You wouldn't want me to go without it just because she's going to be there. Cora Flange: If she's going to be there, you won't be going without it! Stuart Farquhar: Afternoon, Miss Dobbs, a lovely day for it. Miss Dobbs: That's what they all say, Mr Farquhar, but it won't get you anywhere. Stuart Farquhar: I meant for the Elsbels trip, Miss Dobbs. Vic Flange: Lovely day for it! Miss Dobbs: That's what they all say... Stuart Farquhar: Please, Miss Plunkett, you're squashing my itinerary. Moira Plunkett: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I keep on forgetting what a big girl I am now. Stuart Farquhar: Quite, shall we get them out now? Moira Plunkett: Why, Mr Farquhar! Stuart Farquhar: The people for the coach, I mean. Moira Plunkett: Oh, those. Yes, of course. Tuttle's Mother: Oh. I meant to tell you, dear, keep your woolly vest on, even at night... Eustace Tuttle:
Yes, Mummy - and goodbye.
Tuttle's Mother: ...and when you do go, always put plenty of paper down first. [on arrival at the Palace Hotel in Elsbels] Pepe: It's very lovings, no? Stuart Farquhar: I beg your pardon, oh you mean lovely, oh yes very nice. Pepe: It's all brand news, tables not sat in, chairs not sat in, lavatory not sat... Stuart Farquhar: Yes, we needn't go into all that. Evelyn Blunt: I, for one, think it was absolutely outrageous, asking us to share a room just because we're married. Stanley Blunt: I don't know, dear, I thought it was quite reasonable under the circumstances. Evelyn Blunt: Not for me thank you. Vic Flange: Oh. Don't drink? Evelyn Blunt: No, I tried it once and didn't like it. Vic Flange: Smoke? Evelyn Blunt: I tried it once and didn't like it. Vic Flange: Strange. Evelyn Blunt: Not at all, my daughter is just the same. Vic Flange: Your only child, I presume! Postcard Seller: Excuse me, mister - you like postcards? Very interesting! Stuart Farquhar: Oh yes - Miss Plunkett, didn't you want a postcard to send to your mother? [Stuart Farquhar looks at the postcards] Stuart Farquhar: OOOOOOHHH. Moira Plunkett: Any good? Stuart Farquhar: No, I'm afraid they're quite unsuitable. Moira Plunkett: Oh, are they naughty ones? Do let me see. Stuart Farquhar: Certainly not. Floella: Sure! - with no blooding food and no blooding staff! [outside the Wundatours Shop] Bert Conway: Hey, son, hey! Is this for the dirty weekend? Stuart Farquhar: This is the four-day trip to Elsbels, if that's what you mean? Bert Conway: Same difference, isn't it? Stuart Farquhar: Have you got a ticket? Bert Conway: Certainly. I don't expect to get it for nothing - not the holiday anyway! [at the dinner table, the waiter brings the wine to the table] Georgio: A beautiful wine for a beautiful lady... Evelyn Blunt: Was that supposed to be a compliment? Stanley Blunt: Better taste the wine first. [on the beach, Nicholas gets chatting to Lily, Robin reacts with jealousy] Robin: Come along, Nicholas, you promised to help me do my hair. Nicholas: Oh, push off!
[on the coach waiting to go to the Airport]