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Mike Brady:
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Now maybe, just maybe, we're dealing with a mutant form of slug here, a kind that eats meat!
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Frank Phillips:
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You don't have the authority to declare Happy Birthday!
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Mike Brady:
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Sheriff, you don't mind if I smoke do you?
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Sheriff Reese:
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I sure as hell do, Brady. You can muck up your own lungs if you want but don't mess with mine, goddammit.
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Sheriff Reese:
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[Brady throws his cigarettes out the window] Today's your lucky day, Brady.
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Mike Brady:
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Oh really, why's that?
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Sheriff Reese:
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Littering's a $500 fine in this state, don't let me catch you doing it again.
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Mike Brady:
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Sheriff, you know what they found in those candies you're eating? Rat shit and maggot's eggs!
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Sheriff Reese:
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[Sheriff spits the candy out the window] Pfffttt!
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Mike Brady:
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Oh, now sheriff... littering! That's a $500 fine!
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Sheriff Reese:
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Son of a bitch.
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Kim Brady:
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Did you hear? About Harold and Jean Morris?
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Mike Brady:
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Nope, why?
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Kim Brady:
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They're dead.
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Mike Brady:
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Ah, come on now...
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Kim Brady:
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Yeah, I heard it on the news. There was some sort of explosion in their greenhouse. They were both inside.
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Mike Brady:
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Wha-Wait a second, how'd this happen?
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Kim Brady:
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No one knows.
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Mike Brady:
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Ah, Jesus. They were nice people. I liked them a lot.
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Kim Brady:
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I know, I did too.
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Mike Brady:
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[long pause as Brady looks down at the garden] So what are you doing out here anyway?
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