Maxwell Smart is called back to duty as KAOS is back causing trouble again, this time with a 'weather machine'. Although instructed to keep ...更多>
Maxwell Smart: 99, I love you better than the whole world. Would you believe it? The whole world. Agent 99: Yes, Max, I believe it. Conrad Siegfried: All right, Major, what happened? Why did we not get the Hottentot papers? Maj. Waterhouse: Errrrr... Conrad Siegfried: We don't ERRRRRR here! Beamish: Mr. Smart, may I say that you have been the highlight of my entire career! Maxwell Smart: Thank you! And how long have you been with the company? Beamish: Three days! Maxwell Smart: Could you speak a little louder, sir? They're throwing dirt in my grave. Agent 99: You met the President! What's he like? Maxwell Smart: Everything you'd expect! Agent 99: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Cmdr. Drury: Smart, you appear to be in pretty good shape, do you work out? Maxwell Smart: I jog one hundred miles every day! Would you believe it? One hundred miles! Cmdr. Drury: I find that hard to believe. Maxwell Smart: Would you believe fifty? Cmdr. Drury: No! Maxwell Smart: How about two push ups and a deep breath? Maxwell Smart: Missed it by *that* much. Agent 99: Oh, Max. You let him get away. Did you get a look at his face? Maxwell Smart: If that was his face he has a huge cleft in his chin! Agent 13: What's our assignment? Find Hotentot? Maxwell Smart: 13! How did you know that? Agent 13: I still got my contacts, Max. I got a friend inside the White House, really inside. She's in the plumbing! Larrabee: You mean you and Siegfried are triplets? Prof. Helmut Schmelding: No, zere are three of us. Maxwell Smart: You mean you have another brother who looks just like you and Siegfried? Prof. Helmut Schmelding: No, ve have a sister. Larrabee: I'll bet she has a hard time getting dates. Cmdr. Drury: They could increase global warming and bring down acid rain! Maxwell Smart: [Incredulously] You mean better than we're doing it now? Maxwell Smart:
It's funny you should ask, because as we speak this building is being surrounded by one hundred security agents with one hundred Doberman pinschers. Would you believe it? One hundred agents and one hundred Doberman pinschers!
Nicholas Dimente: No, I don't believe that. Maxwell Smart: Er... would you believe fifty security guards and a bloodhound? Nicholas Dimente: I don't think so. Maxwell Smart: How about a rabid Boy Scout? Nicholas Dimente: I could sink the city that houses your finest minds! Maxwell Smart: [to 99] Well at least Washington is safe. Agent 99: Max, I dont have a gun. Maxwell Smart: Here, 99. I have a gun for you. Agent 99: Max this looks like a tootsie pop with a trigger. What do I say to apprahend, "Put your finger up?" Maxwell Smart: Well, 99. It might not look like much, but when you attach this noiser to it" Maxwell Smart: Noiser? Maxwell Smart: yes, a BANG becomes a BOOM!