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Bottom Live: The Big Number 2 Tour

Bottom Live: The Big Number 2 Tour 8.5

1995-11-06(英国)| 英国
上映时间:1995-11-06(英国)
国家/地区:英国 
评分: 力荐
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Richie: [tries slamming a door shut several times, but it always opens. He points and talks to it] Listen you, you're just a door. I'm Rik fucking Mayall! [slams it shut] [Eddie with his pistol walks up to the parrot in its cage] Eddie:

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I know what you're thinking. Back in Act 2 Scene 1 how many shots did I fire? To be honest in all the excitement of of Rik forgetting most of his lines, I've actually kind of forgotten myself. Did I fire five shots or six?

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Parrot: You fired six! You fired six! Eddie: Well lets see how lucky you are punk! [Eddie fires his pistol repeatedly shooting the parrot to pieces] Eddie: HA HA! I fucking reloaded! Eddie: The Queen? Richie: Yes, and stand up when you say that. Eddie: [stands up] The Queen? Richie: Yes, and kneel down when you say that. Eddie: [kneels down] It's no wonder why she's so fucking unpopular. Richie: I don't believe it! We've won the Lottery! Eddie: [returns through the window] We've what? Richie: Oh you're back aren't you? Oh yes, on sniff of ginger and your knickers are around your ankles Eddie: Still talking bollocks, that's my twat [pats Richie on the back] Richie: Is it? What's it doing on my back? It's feeling all sticky! Richie: What were the charges again? Eddie: Attempted asphyxiation of the entire population of West London, detonation 400lbs of Semtex under contravention of the Anti-Terrorist act. Attempted regicide, Arson, causing an affray, and wiggling our todgers at the Queen. Richie: So, its a first offence. I mean talk about Draconian! Eddie: I can't, I dunno what it means. Richie: So Eddie, what's the rollover Jackpot figure for this week? Eddie: One pound. Richie: ONE BLODDY PPpppppffffff... pound? Eddie: Yes, you see the fiendish flaw in our masterplan was, that being the only people who read, or have ever read, the Hammersmith Bugle, we were of course the only people who'd buy a fucking Lottery ticket! Richie: One pound? Eddie: ...ish. You see, after Admin costs, and a donation to charity, we ctually only come out with 5p. And we've just 10p on the phonecall finding that out. Richie: So having won, we're now 5 pence down on the deal? Eddie: Yes that's right, well done. Richie: Well, its a result Eddie! Eddie: Yes! yes it's er... it's a crap result! Eddie: Hey, my Great Uncle was in the Great War Richie: What do mean 'Great War', there aren't any great wars, they're all frightful Eddie: Alright he was in the crap war! Richie: Wow! The crap war! Far out! Which side was he on? Eddie: Both Richie: Wow! Eddie: Well it depended on which diretion he was facing at the time y'know. Had an incy wincy little bit of a drink problem. He took out a machine-gun nest single-handly! Richie: Did he?

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Eddie: But they made him bring it back, he was trying to flog it to the Germans Richie: Hey, wasn't he the last bloke shot before the Armistace? Eddie: Yes, that's right. Just fired off a few rounds in celebration but... stupid twat had his gun the wrong way round. Oh, they don't make 'em like Great Uncle Susan anymore. Richie: That's marvellous stuff Eddie, but, what the fuck's it got to do with anything?

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Bottom Live: The Big Number 2 Tour

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