"Da Kath & Kim Code"(2006)

Kim Day Craig: Brett is now the official Cumputa City floater. Kath Day Knight: Oh! A floater. Well, what does that pacifically entail, Kim? Kim Day Craig:

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Well, Brett sort of explained it like he's kind of like an octopus. You know, spreading his testicles over all departments.

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Kath Day Knight: Oh, that sounds like a big job. Prue: I'm just glad I'm working. That's for sure. Trude: Yes, your two hours a week here must really help the coffers. Kim Day Craig: Still gotta get something good for Brett [for Christmas] Kim Day Craig: . You know, he's really into labels now.... Dulcie and Kabanna, Tony Hellfinger, Louise Futon. Kim Day Craig: I gotta go and get your [christmas] Kim Day Craig: present. Kath Day Knight: Where? Where are you going? Kim Day Craig: I'll be in the $2 shop. Kath Day Knight: How's it going, Sharon? Have you met anybody [on Internet dating] Kath Day Knight: yet? Sharon Strzelecki: Oh, no, not really, Mrs D. Just a couple of lukewarm nibbles. Kath Day Knight: Oh well, whatever you do, love, don't put your photo up. Sharon Strzelecki: I already have. Why? Do you think it would put people off? Kath Day Knight: Oh, no Sharon. You've got a very pretty face. It wasn't full-length, though, was it? Sharon Strzelecki: Oh, why can't I meet someone like Shane? Kim Day Craig: Who? Sharon Strzelecki: Shane! Shane Warne. I'm reading his newie. 'SMS: A Cry for help'. Oh, he's such a spunk! Kim Day Craig: Can't see it myself. Why do you like Warnie so much? Sharon Strzelecki: Well, he's not choosy at all, so I figure I'd be in with a chance. I mean, he pretty much goes for anything on two legs. And I have them. Trude: Do you hate me? Prue: I'm reading Martha Stewart's newie. Have you read it? Trude: No. Prue: Oh, it's great. It's called '101 Things To Do Inside' and it's got it all, you know. Like it's got 'Petit Point for Petty Crims', which is great. And this is great. It's 'Country Craft for Crafty... ' Can I help you? Kim Day Craig: That's it, Brett. I want a divorce. D-I-V-O-R-S-E! Kim Day Craig: You know, Brett, it's one thing to crack onto someone else, but what's hurt me more deeply than I can say is that you'd chase someone as foul as Kelly! Brett Craig: Kim, you're acting crazy! Kim Day Craig: No, Brett. For the first time in my life I'm acting rashly. Oh, and don't bother going home tonight, Brett. It's over. Finished. Burrito! Sharon Strzelecki: I'm getting married! Kim Day Craig: What? Married? Are you doing this to spite me? Kim Day Craig: [At a dance studio] Sharon! What have you come as? Sharon Strzelecki: Well, this is my Polish national costume, Kim. Why? Kim Day Craig: No, I said "pole dancing". Sharon Strzelecki: Yeah, well, I'm a Pole, Kim. Strezlecki. Kim Day Craig: Oh, Mum! What a great costume! Sharon Strzelecki: Oh wow, Mrs D. You look hilarious. You're gonna win for sure. Where'd you get that? Kath Day Knight: [Wearing an over-the-top 80's style pink outfit] Oh, from my wardrobe, Sharon. Costume? Kim Day Craig: Yeah, it's an 80's party. Kath Day Knight: Oh, no! Nobody told me. I would have put something funny on! Santa: Ho, ho, ho! Kim Day Craig: Thank you, Santa. I am! Michael Bublé: Thanks for your help back there, Kath. You're obviously an old pro from way back. Kath Day Knight: Oh, right back at you, mister. Michael Bublé: Kath, remember. Save the last dance for me. Sharon Strzelecki: That's it, Kim! I've had enough! I'm not putting up with any more of your abuse. I've done everything for you. I've put my career on hold. I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. But instead, I have come around to your house every single day and been your escape goat. Well, I have got some home truths for you, Kimberley Diane Craig nee Day. You are not a hornbag! And in fact, you look a whole lot older than what you say you are. And look around, Kimmy! Guys are not lining up to eat putty out of your hand! Kim Day Craig: So what are you saying, Sharon? They're eating putty out of my hand in my head? Sharon Strzelecki: Unlike me, Kim, you can't even get anyone. Not even Brett. Kim Day Craig: Thin ice, Sharon. Sharon Strzelecki: Since I've met Marriat, his love and support has given me the strength to stand up to you, Kim. Kim Day Craig: Marriat? Marriat? You haven't even met Marriat, Sharon! Sharon Strzelecki: TAKE THAT BACK! I am warning you Kim. If you say one more thing about Marriat, I swear I will kill you! Do you hear me? I WILL KILL YOU! Kim Day Craig: Bloody Sharon. I am not mean. Mummy's a hornbag, aren't I, Epponnee? Epponnee Rae: Nuh. Kim Day Craig: You little b... You said your first word! Say it again! Say it again! Epponnee Rae: Nuh. John Monk: Oh, this chicken is rubbery. Kath Day Knight: [In mock Japanese accent] Thank you, John-san. Thank you vely mush. John Monk: No, I mean it. It really is rubbery! Kath Day Knight: Oh no! They're not chicken breasts. They're mine! They're my chicken fillet falsies!

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Kath Day Knight