Michael Westen: You say tomato, I say pimp. Michael Westen: My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy until [phone rings] voice on phone: We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted. Michael Westen: When you're burned, you've got nothing - no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. Where am I? Fiona Glenanne: Miami Michael Westen: You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... Fiona Glenanne: Should we shot them? Michael Westen: An old friend who's informing on you to the FBI... Sam Axe: You know spies, a bunch of bitchy little girls. Fiona Glenanne: Family too. [phone rings] Sam Axe: Is that your mom again? Michael Westen: You're desperate. Madeline Westen: Someone needs your help Michael. Michael Westen: Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you, you're not going anywhere. Michael Westen: [voice-over] Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's reception area twenty-four hours a day. Read magazines, have coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you. Michael Westen: [voice-over] I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart. Michael Westen: [voice-over] Thirty years of karate, combat experience on five continents, a rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge... Still haven't found any defense against Mom crying into my shirt. Michael Westen: [to bully victim] All right, the key to fighting a group is taking out its leader. Take out its leader - oh, they'll all leave you alone. It's bully psychology. Works with third-world military units as well. Michael Westen: [kid rapt attention now] When I was in Afghanistan... never mind that. Michael Westen: [to menacing body guard] Does that shirt come in men's?