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Michael Westen:
You say tomato, I say pimp.
Michael Westen:
My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy until
[phone rings]
voice on phone:
We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.
Michael Westen:
When you're burned, you've got nothing - no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. Where am I?
Fiona Glenanne:
Miami
Michael Westen:
You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend...
Fiona Glenanne:
Should we shot them?
Michael Westen:
An old friend who's informing on you to the FBI...
Sam Axe:
You know spies, a bunch of bitchy little girls.
Fiona Glenanne:
Family too.
[phone rings]
Sam Axe:
Is that your mom again?
Michael Westen:
You're desperate.
Madeline Westen:
Someone needs your help Michael.
Michael Westen:
Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you, you're not going anywhere.
Michael Westen:
[voice-over] Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's reception area twenty-four hours a day. Read magazines, have coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you.
Michael Westen:
[voice-over] I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.
Michael Westen:
[voice-over] Thirty years of karate, combat experience on five continents, a rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge... Still haven't found any defense against Mom crying into my shirt.
Michael Westen:
[to bully victim] All right, the key to fighting a group is taking out its leader. Take out its leader - oh, they'll all leave you alone. It's bully psychology. Works with third-world military units as well.
Michael Westen:
[kid rapt attention now] When I was in Afghanistan... never mind that.
Michael Westen:
[to menacing body guard] Does that shirt come in men's?
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