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Allison Dubois:
A psychic with a bad memory. Go figure.
Allison Dubois:
Psychic with a bad sense of time.
Joe Dubois:
Do you remember where you live?
Allison Dubois:
Hmm, I'm seeing a house. I'm seeing a guy in his underwear. I'm seeing lots of dishes in the sink.
Joe Dubois:
It's amazing how you do that.
Allison Dubois:
How can you say that?
Joe Dubois:
I move my lips, I push out air. There's nothing to it.
Joe's Dad:
I'll be damned if I know what my son sees in you.
Allison Dubois:
It's okay. You already are damned.
Bridgette Dubois:
Don't let her chop my head off!
Joe Dubois:
Chop your head off?
[to Allison]
Joe Dubois:
You bringing your work home with you again?
Allison Dubois:
Ow!
[pulls a portable phone out of couch cushions]
Joe Dubois:
Wow. You one of those people who can talk out of their ass?
Allison Dubois:
It's not funny.
Joe Dubois:
It's kind of funny.
[Allison is annoyed about having to clean the house before her birthday party]
Joe Dubois:
Aren't you going to get that?
Allison Dubois:
Why? It's one of the wicked stepsisters calling to say she's coming to the ball, but she wants me to stop and clean her fireplace.
[Joe and Ariel are both trying to talk to Allison at once]
Ariel Dubois:
This is completely unfair! I had her first, Dad.
Joe Dubois:
No, point in fact, I had her first or else you wouldn't be here.
Captain Kenneth Push:
That God... he is one perverse entity.
Joe Dubois:
Ever since you made the decision not to go to law school, to go to work for the D.A. as a consultant, I don't know, you seem kinda…
Allison Dubois:
Bitchy? Cranky? Pissed off?
Joe Dubois:
You can read minds.
Joe Dubois:
Call Maury Povich - tell him I'm ready for my close-up.
Allison Dubois:
He looks pretty good, don't you think?
Joe Dubois:
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For a functional alcoholic - absolutely. You know he's still out there drinking by himself?
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Allison Dubois:
Wow, who died and appointed you the mayor of Funville?
Ariel Dubois:
Oh, my goodness, here comes Sean!
Bridgette Dubois:
Hey, maybe he's going to propose!
[Allison is hunting for her keys]
Joe Dubois:
Keys? I would think even to get a psychic learner's permit you'd have to be able to find a lost set of...
Allison Dubois:
[holding them] Keys?
Allison Dubois:
It's 9: How am I supposed to know you're OK? How do I know you're not lying dead somewhere?
Joe Dubois:
If something had happened, somebody would've called. If I were dead, who are we kidding, you'd be the first to know.
Allison Dubois:
I just had a weird dream...
Joe Dubois:
Of course you did. It's a day ending in "Y".
Allison Dubois:
[to Joe] What? You told me to dream about anything other than Murcado. It's not my fault my brain picks Sin City.
Catherine:
Even among the special you're special.
Det. Lee Scanlon:
I don't think you're understanding me. I'm going in there. It's just a matter of whether you're going to be smiling or frowning when I do.
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