Gus: Clark, could you not pick your nose in front of me? Clark: I'm not picking, I'm scratching. Gus: Scratching what? Your brain? Clark: Yeah, 'cause it's huge. Clark: [where someone has recently farted] Oh! I love beef stew! Howie: For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER! [cries] Richie: He just did that steroid free! Clark: What's steroids? Richie: Something that makes your 'pee-pee' smaller. Clark: Ohh... there must be steroids in macaroni! Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car. Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year. [Extends arms forward and then retracts] Clark: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed. Howie: I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not. Wayne: How's the moon treating you. Howie: Not a fan. Clark: Is bad ass one or two words? Howie: What's going all the way? Wayne: [whispers in Howie's ear] Howie: Oh. [squeezes suntan lotion and screams] Howie: Aaaaaah! Clark: Shut up, Number 7! Number 7 Robot: You shut up! Clark: I'll kill you! Old Man: I smell cinnamon rolls. Brad: You guys think you're athletes now? Richie: Haha that's funny I didn't know ath-e-letes had three syllables... thats ama-za-zaing. Richie: Are you guys ready to scr-mi-mimage? Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops! Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals! Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops! Troy: Aren't you our paperboy? Clark: ...I'm undercover
: My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties. Kyle: Time to meet your makers! Clark: Makers of what? POOP? Mel: If you build it, nerds will come. [From Trailer] Clark: I got a new text message... my mom says we're having macaroni for dinner sweet! Mel: Keep it under a billion, that's all I got... on me hahaha. Wayne: Is that beer? Carlos: [stumbling] No it's Gatorade homie, get out of my way. Richie: [repeated line] I love... salad. Howie: Richie told me about the serial killers thats loose in in our neighborhood killing anyone named Howie! THAT'S MY NAME! That's my name! Mel: Howie, you're a freak. Mel: Have you even known the joys of having children? Richie: Never had a date. Clark: Never talked to a girl. Richie: [after Gus hits a homerun] Wow and he did it without steroids. Clark: What's steroids? Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller. Clark: There must be steroids in macaroni! Marcus Ellwood: Do you still think I look like Yoda? Gus: No. Marcus Ellwood: But Yoda's my favorite! You're a bad, bad man! Richie: Clark, we don't play baseball. Clark: I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't show up, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER! Little Boy: Leave our field or you will suffer the consequences! Richie: What is this, "children of the corn"? Troy: Listen, we have a game tomorrow, and there's only one field to practice on - so, beat it! [pushes Nelson] Richie: [after hitting the ball] I ticked it, it hit the bat! Charlie Catcher: You're ssstill out. Richie: You're ssstill fat! Gretchen Peterson: Move your ass Richie! Gus: [to Nelson] Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier? Mel: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies. Nelson:
I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.