上班一条虫Office Space(1999)

Drew: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!" 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I'll be honest with you, I love his music, I do, I'm a Michael Bolton fan. For my money, I don't know if it gets any better than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman". 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yes, this is horrible, this idea. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

This is a... fuck! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[in Peter's dream, Lumbergh is oiled up and having sex] You can just go ahead and move a little bit to the left. Yeah, that's it. Great. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. Did you get that memo? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Would you bear with me for just a second, please? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

OK. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both of you guys. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

52 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

f46 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Excellent. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Great... Wow. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[about the plan to steal from Initech] Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Of course. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Agreed, 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[from the next apartment through the wall] Don't worry, man. I won't tell anyone either. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Who the fuck is that? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

We still goin' fishin' this weekend? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, you can get out of that easily. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah? How? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, when a boss wants you to work on Saturday he generally asks you at the end of the day, right? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So, all you gotta do is avoid him... on the last few hours on Friday, duck out early, turn off your answering machine... you should be home free, man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

That's a really good idea. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Fuckin' A, man! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Peter and Lawrence are working on the crew cleaning up the burned Initech building] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

This isn't so bad, huh? Makin' bucks, gettin' exercise, workin' outside. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Fuckin' A. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[nods] Fuckin' A. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What if we're still doin' this when we're 50? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

It would be nice to have that kind of job security. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. I can tell already. I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[nods] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

because I'm a big pussy... which is why I work at Initech to begin with. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yes, I am also not a pussy. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Peter, Michael, and Samir are chatting as they hang around the printer] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what you'd do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. And invariably what you'd say was supposed to be your career. So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So what did you say? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

cc 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No, you're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

ff0 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise is that you're supposed to figure out what you would want to do if... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[printer starts beeping] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

"PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Don't... don't care? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime; so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I beg your pardon? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Eight bosses. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Eight? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled; that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this penny-stealing... wanna-be criminal... man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Lumbergh. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[shouting through the wall from his apartment] Hey Peter, man, check out channel 9, check out this chick. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Piece of shit. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What would you do if you had a million dollars? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, not all chicks. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Good point. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, what about you now? what would you do? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Besides two chicks at the same time? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nothing. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nothing, huh? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

4c 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fe2 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do shit. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know there's nothing wrong with that name. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So, where do you work, Peter? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Initech. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

In... yeah, what do you do there? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What's that? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You're just not gonna go? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Won't you get fired? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So you're gonna quit? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

When did you decide all that? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

About an hour ago. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I don't think I'd like another job. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, so what do you wanna do? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch 'Kung Fu'. Do you ever watch 'Kung Fu'? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I love 'Kung Fu'. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Channel 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Totally. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You should come over and watch 'Kung Fu' tonight. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

2a 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fbf 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Great. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Da-uh? Space out? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. Now we had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Steve: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

We get caught laundering money, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I don't want to go to ANY prison! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence, you awake? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You wanna come over? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No, thanks, man. I don't want you fucking up my life, too. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dr. Swanson: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What about today? Is today the worst day of your life? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dr. Swanson: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Wow, that's messed up. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Who's he? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know, squirrely looking guy, mumbles a lot. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh, yeah. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, we can't actually find a record of him being a current employee here. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I looked into it more deeply and I found that apparently what happened is that he was laid off five years ago and no one ever told him about it; but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department, he still gets a paycheck. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Great. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Dom Portwood: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So, uh, Milton has been let go? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it'll just work itself out naturally. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

60 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

We always like to avoid confrontation, whenever possible. Problem is solved from your end. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fc0 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh yeah, we're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Standard operating procedure. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Do they know this yet? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nina: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Now Milton, don't be greedy, let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece. And I was told... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nina: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Just pass. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[while the cake passes Milton mutters - eventually everybody but Milton gets a piece] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[muttering] I could set the building on fire. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nina: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Now, Milton. Don't be greedy. Pass the cake along so everyone gets a piece. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Last time, I did not recieve a piece, and I was told that I... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nina: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Just pass. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh. Okay. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Let me ask you something, when you come in on Monday, and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No... no man, shit, no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Mexican Waiter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lo siento mucho, senor. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Under his breath] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Mexican Waiter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Pinche gringo. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[as the waiter walks away] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

15d 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG grains of salt. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fd3 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

We're gonna be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Stuck in traffic] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Mother... shitter... Son of an... ass. I just... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[punches steering wheel] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Rob Newhouse: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right. W-Why do you ask, anyway? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter, you're in deep shit. You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[as Peter leaves to confess to Lumbergh about stealing money, knowing he may go to prison] Peter... watch out for your cornhole, bud. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Peter, Michael and Samir are trying to figure out how to launder money] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in a dictionary. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Drunk, singing] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Back up in your ass with the resurrection. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

ac 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, 'Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

f6f 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place. You haven't been showing up, and you get to keep your job. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Actually I'm being promoted. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Milton Waddams: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

The ratio of people to cake is too big. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You think the pet rock was a really great idea? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Really, what was it, Tom? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Doesn't that chick look like Anne? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, a little bit... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. You two still goin' out? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, I get that feeling too, man. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What do you mean by that? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Lawrence: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I don't know, man. I just get that feeling lookin' at her like she's the type of chick that just... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Look, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yes, Peter, but I'm not going to do anything illegal. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Illegal? Samir, this is America. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Um, the 7-Eleven, right? You take a penny from the tray. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

From the crippled children? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No, that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray, the pennies for everybody. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So you guys are gonna fire Mike and Samir, and you're gonna give *me* more money? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Porter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[nods] Uh-huh. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Wow. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Boy, I'll tell ya, some days... One of these days it's just gonna be like... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[He mimics the sound of a machine gun. Brian, a waiter, walks up and does the same and laughs] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

94 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So can I get you gentlemen something more to drink? Or maybe something to nibble on? Some Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fdc 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Just coffee. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Okay. Sounds like a case of the Mondays. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Why don't you just call me when you grow up! Oh, wait, you know what, that's probably never gonna happen, so just don't call me, OK? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Joanna starts to close car door] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Say hello to Lumbergh for me! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[trying to decide if he should go along with the virus plot] I have a question. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yes? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

In... in these conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yep, you sure can. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

OK, I'll do it. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

So, Peter, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

No. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Ah. Yeah. So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk. Hmm? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. In fact, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back another time. I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bill Lumbergh: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah, they called me at home. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[repeated line] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Nina: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there, Brian, why don't you just make the minimum 37 pieces of flair? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Stan, Chotchkie's Manager: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to express yourself. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Joanna: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yeah. You know what, yeah, I do. I do want to express myself, okay. And I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[flips off Stan] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Is there some way to just give the money back? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What? You mean just hand them a check for the exact amount they're missing? I think they'd figure that out. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You know, corporate accounting is sure as hell gonna notice $305,13, Michael! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Hey, guys. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

What's up, G? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Oh, it's a little early. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

2c 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

fc5 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Female Temp: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[discussing the possibility of going to prison] This isn't Riyadh. You know they're not gonna saw your hands off here, alright? The worst they would ever do is they would put you for a couple of months into a white-collar, minimum-security resort! Shit, we should be so lucky! Do you know, they have conjugal visits there? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Really? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yes. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Shit. I'm a free man and I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Steve: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

I lied. Um... All that stuff I said about being a crack head? It just helps me sell magazines. I'm actually an unemployed... software engineer. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Peter Gibbons: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

You're a software engineer? 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Steve: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Yup. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[sighs] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Samir: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Things, uh... it must be very rough for you. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Steve: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Actually man, I make more money selling magazine subscriptions, than I ever did at Intertrode! 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Michael Bolton: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom, every week you say you're going to lose your job and you're still here. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Tom Smykowski: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Not this time. I'll bet I'm the first one laid off! Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with those SCUMBAGS... 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[Telling Lumbergh who's going to be fired] There's two more people we can easily lose, and then there's Tom Smykowski... He's useless. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

[laughs] 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Bob Slydell: 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

Gone. 复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制

上班一条虫 (1999)

演职人员(230)

迈克·乔吉

朗·里维斯顿

詹妮弗·安妮斯顿

大卫·赫尔曼

埃加利·奈杜

戴德里克·巴德

斯蒂芬·鲁特

盖瑞·科尔

理查德·雷西尔

亚里克斯德拉·温特鲁什

Joe Bays

约翰·C·麦克金利

保罗·威尔森

Kinna McInroe

Todd Duffey

Greg Pitts

经典台词

相关推荐