Having been discharged from the Marines for a hayfever condition before ever seeing action, Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith (Eddie Brac...更多>
[after nothing has gone right] Committee Chairman: Oh death where is thy sting? Woodrow: I knew the Marines could do almost anything, but I never knew they could do anything like this. Bugsy: You got no idea! Mayor Noble: She forgets her lines 'til rigor mortis sets in! Sergeant Heppelfinger: These flapjacks might taste better with a little butter on 'em Mrs. T. Mrs. Truesmith: Maybe you haven't heard Sgt. but there's a war on. Sergeant Heppelfinger: We're just a little bit short of cash, see... Cafe Owner: Uh, uh. Sergeant Heppelfinger: ...or I'd never make you this proposition. Cafe Owner: Ho, ho Sergeant Heppelfinger: I was going to save it for the museum, see, but when you're out on a limb you gotta make sacrifices, that's all. You follow me? Cafe Owner: I'm ahead of you. Sergeant Heppelfinger: I'm gonna let you in on the ground floor of something very, very rare. You remember when General Yamatoho committed hari-kari? Cafe Owner: Possibly. Sergeant Heppelfinger: I happened to be very close by, see. [winks, indicates he pulled out one of Yamatoho's teeth and shows the very large elk's tooth he got from one of the other Marines] Cafe Owner: Big man, wasn't he? Sergeant Heppelfinger: Immense! This is one of the rarest mementos... Cafe Owner: [as he pulls a large Japanese flag out of his coat] You wouldn't like to buy the flag they buried him in, would you? I could let you have it very reasonable. [pulls out another flag] Cafe Owner: I have it in several sizes. [begins to pull other items out of his coat pockets] Cafe Owner: MacArthur's suspenders! The first bullet that landed in Pearl Harbor... you can take your pick. A piece of a Japanese submarine. [turns the piece of metal over] Cafe Owner: If you look at it this way it becomes a German submarine. [turns the piece again] Cafe Owner: And this way it's a piece of a shell that just missed Montgomery! Here we have the seat of Rommel's pants. And last, but not least, we have a button from Hitler's coat... although that one I don't personally believe. Sergeant Heppelfinger: Wise guy. Sergeant Heppelfinger: It's an honor to meet you, kid. What's your name? Woodrow: Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith. Go ahead and laugh. Sergeant Heppelfinger: That ain't anything to laugh at to anyone who knows anything. Sergeant Heppelfinger: I guess you never got to know your father very well, eh? Woodrow: Well, not exactly... as he fell the day I was born. Sergeant Heppelfinger: That's right. It's hard to realize. He was a fine looking fellow. He didn't look anything like you at all. Forrest Noble:
If he waited a year longer, there might have been three of us to welcome him. If he waited two years, there might have been...
Libby: Oh, shut up. Forrest Noble: Well, that's what marriage is for isn't it? Libby: Oh, I suppose so, if you look at it from a purely unromantic standpoint - like a breeding farm. Mrs. Noble: [to her son, Forrest, answering Libby's desire not to tell Woodrow that she's become engaged to Forrest] Why under similar circumstances I'd be perfectly willing to pretend I wasn't married to your father for several weeks even. Mayor Everett D. Noble: You can make it for several months as far as I'm concerned. Heh! singer at train station: I got to have cooperation. I sing for him in seven flats. And he [indicating bandleader] singer at train station: won't play it in seven flats. American Legion Bandleader: We don't know how to play in seven flats. We're not musicians. singer at train station: You don't have to tell me. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: [referring to the band] Why don't they play something gay? [meaning happy] Bartender: Why don't you acquire a gay viewpoint. It's all mental - every bit of it. Smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you frown alone. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: I'd just as soon be alone if it's the same to you. Bartender: Gratitude. Mrs. Truesmith: Why can't you wear your uniform for a little while? Libby's Aunt: You look so nice in it. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: I just got through explaining it's against regulations. Mrs. Truesmith: Well, I think that's perfectly ridiculous. Libby: So do I. Mrs. Truesmith: Your grandfather wore his Civil War uniform the rest of his life. Libby's Aunt: Kept having new ones made. Mrs. Truesmith: Said it helped remind people that brother fought brother. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: [looking at Sgt. Heppelfinger] Well his case was different! Mrs. Truesmith: [showing the Marines the shrine to Woodrow's father] Now I have two heroes. [looks at the six Marines] Mrs. Truesmith: I have eight heroes. Bugsy: You can sure put me on your flag. I sure ain't got anybody else. Mrs. Truesmith: I'd be very proud to. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: [after hearing that the town wants to build a statue of him] What do I do now? Sgt. Heppelfinger: Well, you just let it blow over. Woodrow Lafayette Pershing Truesmith: Did you ever see a statue blow over? Sgt. Heppelfinger:
I tell you it'll all blow over. Everything is perfect - except for a couple of details.